So three Brisbane Bronco Rugby League players are up on sexual assault charges. The story goes those one of them took a fine, upstanding young lady in the disabled toilets of a nightclub to perform sexual acts, and the other two followed. After performing oral sex on all three, she then consented to sex with two of the players. What she apparently objected to is the fact that the third player in question filmed it all on his mobile phone. She told her friends this, who were seemingly okay with the fact that she had just sucked three cocks in a row, and they advised her to press charges. As we know, finishing school teaches ladies to always look their best on camera, and she was worried that her mascara had run.
Now, things like that just didn’t happen to me in my not so swinging bachelor days. The closest thing that I ever got to fun in a nightclub toilet was nothing more than mildly amusing graffiti, but these blokes are prize idiots. If a girl at a club invites you, and your mates, into the bogs for a bit of fun then alarm bells should be ringing. Particularly if you’re a high profile athlete in a one team town, and especially if you team is playing a semi final the following week. Nevertheless, I won’t defend them as what they did was wrong, but what about her? Blimey, talk about a tart.
Miss Three Cocks needs to take a good, long, hard look at herself. Inviting one bloke into the john is bad enough, but three!? And what of her friends, letting her, obviously a few Champagnes down, invite a bloke into the bog for a bonk in the first place. What is most bizarre is that they seem more horrified by the act of filming, then they do by the act of doing it like they do on the discovery channel.
Now there are no winners in this sordid tale, only a warning to disabled club patrons everywhere to clean the seat before taking a dump.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Die Bokke Die
The tri-nations is almost over and I am $20 lighter. You see, I foolishly looked at the World Cup winning Springbok squad and thought, you know what, they should blow the Wallabies and All Blacks off the park.
Instead, apart from a lucky victory in Dunedin and a tonking of an under strength under motivated Wallaby team in Joberg, I was subjected to some of the worst, and certainly most aimless, Rugby I have ever seen. The bottom line is that the bok must stop with the coach. Serious questions have to asked about Peter De Villiers’ credentials and his tactical nous.
I am proud to say that I have a Level 1 coaching badge from the QRU, but freely admit that all that really means is that I’m able to pretend to know what I’m doing. However, even I know that winning the breakdowns, and stringing a few phases together is more likely to bring success than simply running and passing. In Cape Town and Durban the Springboks looked horribly under coached and the Durban crowd were right to boo De Villiers.
Now, if anyone bothered to read this blog (apart from Spice Unit), I’d no doubt be accused of being just another whinging, racist ex-pat South African. How dare I attack the first ever black Springbok coach? To you I say bugger off. If the bloke wanted the job then he cannot hide behind the colour of his skin when the muck hits the fan. After watching the boks lose 49-0 in Brisbane, I was just as angry with Jake White, which is why I want to give PDV a chance. Jake went on to win a World Cup, Australia lost in the quarters. However, PDV has to consider the strengths of boks and play to them otherwise the boks will be on a down trajectory throughout his reign.
Here is my verdict on the positives and negatives of PDV’s first Tri-nations:
Positive: The emergence of Beast Mtawarira, Brian Mujati, Andries Bekker and Bismark Du Plesis as potentially very good test players.
Negative: Butch James is the only decent flyhalf in the country, and most days he’s pretty crap anyhow.
Positive: Winning in Dunedin removed a large, King Kong like, monkey off the back. Was lucky though.
Negative: Losing in Durban removed a large, King Kong like, monkey off the back of the Wallabies. Was lucky though.
Positive: Fourie du Preez, , Schalk Burger, Victor Matfield ,Adrian Jacobs, Jean de Villiers and Ricky Januarie leave with their reputations either enhanced or intact.
Negative: Luke Watson is no better than Solly Tyibilka, and therefore not a test quality lose forward.
Positive: 58-3 demonstrates that with the right platform, we will beat anyone. Including those pesky All Blacks.
Negative: Losing to a pretty ordinary Wallaby team. We were unlucky in parts, but mostly we were rubbish.
Positive: PDV accepting that his game plan needs revising?
Negative: No contender to replace John Smit as captain.
Instead, apart from a lucky victory in Dunedin and a tonking of an under strength under motivated Wallaby team in Joberg, I was subjected to some of the worst, and certainly most aimless, Rugby I have ever seen. The bottom line is that the bok must stop with the coach. Serious questions have to asked about Peter De Villiers’ credentials and his tactical nous.
I am proud to say that I have a Level 1 coaching badge from the QRU, but freely admit that all that really means is that I’m able to pretend to know what I’m doing. However, even I know that winning the breakdowns, and stringing a few phases together is more likely to bring success than simply running and passing. In Cape Town and Durban the Springboks looked horribly under coached and the Durban crowd were right to boo De Villiers.
Now, if anyone bothered to read this blog (apart from Spice Unit), I’d no doubt be accused of being just another whinging, racist ex-pat South African. How dare I attack the first ever black Springbok coach? To you I say bugger off. If the bloke wanted the job then he cannot hide behind the colour of his skin when the muck hits the fan. After watching the boks lose 49-0 in Brisbane, I was just as angry with Jake White, which is why I want to give PDV a chance. Jake went on to win a World Cup, Australia lost in the quarters. However, PDV has to consider the strengths of boks and play to them otherwise the boks will be on a down trajectory throughout his reign.
Here is my verdict on the positives and negatives of PDV’s first Tri-nations:
Positive: The emergence of Beast Mtawarira, Brian Mujati, Andries Bekker and Bismark Du Plesis as potentially very good test players.
Negative: Butch James is the only decent flyhalf in the country, and most days he’s pretty crap anyhow.
Positive: Winning in Dunedin removed a large, King Kong like, monkey off the back. Was lucky though.
Negative: Losing in Durban removed a large, King Kong like, monkey off the back of the Wallabies. Was lucky though.
Positive: Fourie du Preez, , Schalk Burger, Victor Matfield ,Adrian Jacobs, Jean de Villiers and Ricky Januarie leave with their reputations either enhanced or intact.
Negative: Luke Watson is no better than Solly Tyibilka, and therefore not a test quality lose forward.
Positive: 58-3 demonstrates that with the right platform, we will beat anyone. Including those pesky All Blacks.
Negative: Losing to a pretty ordinary Wallaby team. We were unlucky in parts, but mostly we were rubbish.
Positive: PDV accepting that his game plan needs revising?
Negative: No contender to replace John Smit as captain.
Monday, May 12, 2008
People you love but I hate
I hate George Clooney. I am the only person in the world who thinks that he is an egotistical, self-serving, self-important cock?
He seems to me to be one of those actors that can only actually ever play himself, like Robin Williams, only less hairy.
Seeing yet another an interviewer practically get down on all fours and surrender herself to him the other day got me thinking about which other people everybody seems to love but I hate. So I compiled a list:
10. Raymond: If I wanted to watch bitter old people nag each other I’ll join a bowls club thank you very much. So, not everybody loves you.
9. The Entire Cast of Friends: I took perverse pleasure in watching Joey. The others are lucky they had gifted writers.
8. Angelina Jolie: She’s a weirdo people. C’mon!
7. Tiger Woods: He obsessive, earns trillions, is married to a Swedish model, and is only slightly less boring than golf itself. Why should I like him when I can be jealous of him?
6. David Beckham: Need I remind England fans of France ’98? He is slow, dumb, overhyped, overpaid and vastly overrated. He is also married to the oddest looking woman on the planet (bar Michael Jackson of course).
5. Bono: Stop your self-righteous preening you ponce! Yes I’ll bloody compost, but not because you tell me to, you dick.
4. The Pope: Either use your super-pope-powers to bring world peace or go away.
3. Ryan Seacrest: [-snooze-]
2. Jeremy Clarkson: Watching him on Top Gear is like watching your Dad trying to be cool in front of your friends. I watch it in the hope that he will crash and that the cardigan and leather jacket wearing audience find something important to do with their time other than ogle cars (like writing a blog nobody reads!).
1. J-Lo: Yes she is hot but she can’t act and she can’t sing. Not even an arse that Jeremy Clarkson could crash into can save her from being totally mediocre.
He seems to me to be one of those actors that can only actually ever play himself, like Robin Williams, only less hairy.
Seeing yet another an interviewer practically get down on all fours and surrender herself to him the other day got me thinking about which other people everybody seems to love but I hate. So I compiled a list:
10. Raymond: If I wanted to watch bitter old people nag each other I’ll join a bowls club thank you very much. So, not everybody loves you.
9. The Entire Cast of Friends: I took perverse pleasure in watching Joey. The others are lucky they had gifted writers.
8. Angelina Jolie: She’s a weirdo people. C’mon!
7. Tiger Woods: He obsessive, earns trillions, is married to a Swedish model, and is only slightly less boring than golf itself. Why should I like him when I can be jealous of him?
6. David Beckham: Need I remind England fans of France ’98? He is slow, dumb, overhyped, overpaid and vastly overrated. He is also married to the oddest looking woman on the planet (bar Michael Jackson of course).
5. Bono: Stop your self-righteous preening you ponce! Yes I’ll bloody compost, but not because you tell me to, you dick.
4. The Pope: Either use your super-pope-powers to bring world peace or go away.
3. Ryan Seacrest: [-snooze-]
2. Jeremy Clarkson: Watching him on Top Gear is like watching your Dad trying to be cool in front of your friends. I watch it in the hope that he will crash and that the cardigan and leather jacket wearing audience find something important to do with their time other than ogle cars (like writing a blog nobody reads!).
1. J-Lo: Yes she is hot but she can’t act and she can’t sing. Not even an arse that Jeremy Clarkson could crash into can save her from being totally mediocre.
Monday, April 14, 2008
School bans poofs, sheep from prom
The latest hubbub down under is whether or not a leading boy’s school in Queensland should allow its Senior Students to take their gay partners to the school formal.
(http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/04/14/2216379.htm)
Naturally this has Gay Rights groups and church groups squealing loudly, and those of us in the middle are covering our ears.
The school itself is trying to remain PC while at the same time giving the request a big fat thanks but no thanks. Its official line is that young men need to learn to interact with the opposite sex.
Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I have never met a poof who has any difficultly making friend with the ladies. Heck, I once thought about pretending to be a butty just to try and get in one chicks knickers in my student days. And girls love having a queer friend, since Will and Grace it is almost an important fashion accessary, like a handbag only more stylish and fragrant, and with less room for Tampons.
Now I personally think that if a young kid is gay and is brave, yes brave, enough to admit it in an environment like that than he should be applauded. If anything it might make some of the others more tolerant.
I also believe that school formals should be a place where a young man can express his basest desires. Heck, if I could do it all over again I’d have taken a one legged hooker, assuming that is that Heather Mills was available. I know that some of my mates would have spent their last school looking for a dwarf or willing sheep.
Anyhow, I digress.
(http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/04/14/2216379.htm)
Naturally this has Gay Rights groups and church groups squealing loudly, and those of us in the middle are covering our ears.
The school itself is trying to remain PC while at the same time giving the request a big fat thanks but no thanks. Its official line is that young men need to learn to interact with the opposite sex.
Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I have never met a poof who has any difficultly making friend with the ladies. Heck, I once thought about pretending to be a butty just to try and get in one chicks knickers in my student days. And girls love having a queer friend, since Will and Grace it is almost an important fashion accessary, like a handbag only more stylish and fragrant, and with less room for Tampons.
Now I personally think that if a young kid is gay and is brave, yes brave, enough to admit it in an environment like that than he should be applauded. If anything it might make some of the others more tolerant.
I also believe that school formals should be a place where a young man can express his basest desires. Heck, if I could do it all over again I’d have taken a one legged hooker, assuming that is that Heather Mills was available. I know that some of my mates would have spent their last school looking for a dwarf or willing sheep.
Anyhow, I digress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
