Yesterday I was tailgated by a young girl in a Toyota Rav4. Despite the fact I was actually a little over the speed limit, this slapper felt that I was taking up far too much of her precious time and not only tailgated me but also give me the one finger salute as she passed by. I couldn't help but wonder what important meeting this low level administrator had to rush off to. Did the photocopier need more toner? Might the printer require paper? The boss a sandwich and coke? Perhaps I'll never know but what I do know is that in my city (Brisbane) the worst drivers on the road fall into the female, 18-24, demographic.
Now of course I have no actual stats to back this up, this is a blog (that nobody reads) and not a current affairs program, but having lived here for three years I am in no doubt. Please do not misunderstand me however; I am not saying that they are necessarily bad drivers in terms of ability; they just seem to be the most impatient and the most aggressive.
It has become so bad that whenever I see a Suzuki Swift weaving in and out of lanes, or a Hyundai with Playboy seat covers (yay for feminism!) pull up next to me, I feel a sort evil masculine monster take hold. I want to yell at this idiot in a death trap, and shake her until she considers other road users. I have a strange desire to ask her if she thinks its cool to kill someone while driving, cooler even then pink Playboy seat covers. I yearn to remind her that the only reason she beat me at the lights in her cute little Yaris is because I wasn't racing. I never race, that's for paid professionals, not tired and cranky drivers like me.
Instead I say nothing and wish that I could work from home.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Things that I should care about (but don't)
There are some things in this world that you should really care about, but no matter how hard you try, you just don’t (care).
The War in Iraq for example is little more than a brief distraction for me while on the way to Calvin and Hobbes in the morning. I know I should care, people are getting killed for heavens sake, but frankly I find it all rather boring.
With that in mind I decided to compile my list of things that I should care about but don’t:
Match Fixing in Tennis: So a few tennis players took a dive in five, who cares, it won’t end the war in Iraq.
Princess Dianna Inquest: C’mon already, this must be inquiry number ninety-one. Couldn’t you just let sleeping dogs lie? It was a terrible accident; sadly they happen, even to the rich.
Anything Championed by Bono: I agree with much of what he says but no man in leather pants is going to tell me what bloody light bulb I should use.
Michael Moore’s Films: Who is this fat bloke and why are we watching him? Like Bono, I agree with much of what he says, I just don’t like actually looking at him.
Fundamentalist Christians: I should care that they try and impose their will on everything, but truthfully, I find them rather amusing.
George W Bush: In all the years he has been President of the most powerful nation on earth, my life has not changed one iota.
Tailgaters: I realise that you are in a hurry and that your time is infinitely more important than mine, but I’m still not getting out of you way. Go around.
Elections: I try, I really do, but somehow there is always something else on TV.
Porn Marginalises Women: If the chick is doing it for the cash and doesn’t mind hanging her bits out, then who am I to worry.
Celebrities: I don’t care who Paris Hilton is banging this week because its obviously not me.
International Football Friendlies: Sadly they make fans pay hard earned money for that crap. For shame.
There you have it. I could go on all night but have to get back to work.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
We never wanted to win the World Cup anyways, so there" claims New Zealand
New Zealand Whine made from best Sour Grapes
A poor pun I know but I often visit the New Zealand Herald for what is normally excellent and thorough analysis of Rugby. Imagine my surprise when I discovered an article (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/4/story.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=10471494) by one Peter Bills in the aforementioned paper dated 23rd October 2007. For those of you too lazy to read the article I will sum it up as thus:
New Zealand are better off without the RWC because at least the All Blacks don't resort to the boring kicking that won it for the jaapies. The jaapies and poms are boring and are big poopy heads.
Now I may have embellished the truth a little on the poopy head line but I'm am pretty sure that had the All Blacks won the Webb Ellis with a three – nil, Dan Carter drop kick victory over South Africa, they would have been dancing in the streets of Auckland as opposed to setting fire to All Black flags. In fact, it has been so long between drinks for our Kiwi friends that a nil-nil draw and a toss of the coin would have probably caused mass jubilation.
Bills goes on to say that "But this isn't rugby as we know it", which leads me doubt his Rugby writing credentials. Just what exactly is "rugby as we know it?" Is it the pleasing but often unsatisfying brand dished up in the S14? Could it be the expansive but ultimately fruitless variety served up by the Pacific Islanders? Perhaps it is the hard nosed, brutal contests seen in the Premiership and Currie Cup? Possibly, just maybe, it is all of these things and more and Bills needs to stop being so blinkered so as to believe that the rest of world wants, or is even capable of playing like the All Blacks. Evidently, Bills would have the rest of World play like the All Blacks in an attempt to help the All Blacks finally win that unwanted trophy.
Bills then launched an extraordinary attack on Springbok fans and the entire nation of South Africa. When he states that
The South African nation will celebrate and claim all is well in their land now the mighty Bokke rule the world once again. They'll be deluding themselves if they believe that,
He may well be right, it probably will only be a brief distraction from the many problems that that nation endures but unfortunately for Bills it reads like little more than a schoolyard temper tantrum than a journalistic observation. To me it sounds as if Bills is saying that "you may have won the RWC, but at least your standard of living is crap, so there" (and this from someone living in London!?). Why bother Pete? Why waste space condemning supporters for bragging a little. Heck, England fans dined out on RWC2003 for four years and some are still dining out on 1966; let them have their fun for now.
What's more, Bills' vitriol extends into the following statement: "Winning a World Cup in such an ugly manner hardly reflects well upon either the ultimate champions or the game itself." Granted South Africa can be a cruel and ugly place but to tarnish an entire nation with the ugly stick is taking it a bit far don't you think? This also brings me back to my original point about just what Rugby as we know it. Bills obviously hopes that Rugby is played in an open and entertaining manner, so do I and I agree that some change needs to take place in the game, but the beauty of the game is that different nations play the game in different ways. If that happens to be a forward driven, safety first approach then so be it. I for one would much rather see that then see a World Cup full of All Black clones. In fact I'd so far as to say that so would many All Black fans, providing that is they won it at the end.
A poor pun I know but I often visit the New Zealand Herald for what is normally excellent and thorough analysis of Rugby. Imagine my surprise when I discovered an article (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/4/story.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=10471494) by one Peter Bills in the aforementioned paper dated 23rd October 2007. For those of you too lazy to read the article I will sum it up as thus:
New Zealand are better off without the RWC because at least the All Blacks don't resort to the boring kicking that won it for the jaapies. The jaapies and poms are boring and are big poopy heads.
Now I may have embellished the truth a little on the poopy head line but I'm am pretty sure that had the All Blacks won the Webb Ellis with a three – nil, Dan Carter drop kick victory over South Africa, they would have been dancing in the streets of Auckland as opposed to setting fire to All Black flags. In fact, it has been so long between drinks for our Kiwi friends that a nil-nil draw and a toss of the coin would have probably caused mass jubilation.
Bills goes on to say that "But this isn't rugby as we know it", which leads me doubt his Rugby writing credentials. Just what exactly is "rugby as we know it?" Is it the pleasing but often unsatisfying brand dished up in the S14? Could it be the expansive but ultimately fruitless variety served up by the Pacific Islanders? Perhaps it is the hard nosed, brutal contests seen in the Premiership and Currie Cup? Possibly, just maybe, it is all of these things and more and Bills needs to stop being so blinkered so as to believe that the rest of world wants, or is even capable of playing like the All Blacks. Evidently, Bills would have the rest of World play like the All Blacks in an attempt to help the All Blacks finally win that unwanted trophy.
Bills then launched an extraordinary attack on Springbok fans and the entire nation of South Africa. When he states that
The South African nation will celebrate and claim all is well in their land now the mighty Bokke rule the world once again. They'll be deluding themselves if they believe that,
He may well be right, it probably will only be a brief distraction from the many problems that that nation endures but unfortunately for Bills it reads like little more than a schoolyard temper tantrum than a journalistic observation. To me it sounds as if Bills is saying that "you may have won the RWC, but at least your standard of living is crap, so there" (and this from someone living in London!?). Why bother Pete? Why waste space condemning supporters for bragging a little. Heck, England fans dined out on RWC2003 for four years and some are still dining out on 1966; let them have their fun for now.
What's more, Bills' vitriol extends into the following statement: "Winning a World Cup in such an ugly manner hardly reflects well upon either the ultimate champions or the game itself." Granted South Africa can be a cruel and ugly place but to tarnish an entire nation with the ugly stick is taking it a bit far don't you think? This also brings me back to my original point about just what Rugby as we know it. Bills obviously hopes that Rugby is played in an open and entertaining manner, so do I and I agree that some change needs to take place in the game, but the beauty of the game is that different nations play the game in different ways. If that happens to be a forward driven, safety first approach then so be it. I for one would much rather see that then see a World Cup full of All Black clones. In fact I'd so far as to say that so would many All Black fans, providing that is they won it at the end.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Drugsand Sport: My horror and Resentment
Ben Cousins, Wendell Sailor, Mark Bosnich, Andrew Johns and Maradonna, all of them elite athletes and all used recreational drugs during their playing years.
Each revelation shocked the sporting world. Fans were aghast that their hero could sink so low so as to take drugs. I, on the other hand was not at all shocked, especially by Maradonna. Indeed, I would have more shocked to discover that he wasn’t a cokehead then to discover that he was. C’mon people the signs were there all along, including an unsavoury affiliation with the mafia. Anyhow, I was not shocked and I’ll tell you why:
Young men earning big coin taking the odd eecky or a bit of Charlie does not surprise me in the slightest. One just has to live in London for three weeks to discover that fact. Actually, young men who don’t earn big coin are also spending their weekends frantically alternating between frenzied bursts of energy and massaging each other’s shoulders. I have no doubt that had I been a professional footballer, earning the kind of money that they do, I would have also probably spent my off-season snorting Columbia’s finest of a hookers tits. Sheesh, I was a poor student and I still managed to be on first name basis with the bouncer at the local strip club, imagine what it would have been like if I had had thirty grand in my pocket. Imagine…
Anyhow, those days are over and I not condoning drugs, they’re bad news, but I am trying to point out that drugs are societies problem. Those those are quick to condemn players as poor role models are likely to have a friend/colleague/family member who uses drugs. Those former players who are quick to say, “it didn’t happen in my day” are probably the same players who engaged in alcoholic benders during their own playing days. Perhaps we need to move beyond focusing on what footy players are doing on a Saturday night after the game and focus on what society is doing on a Saturday night. Solve that problem and you solve the problem of drugs in sport.
Imagine..
Each revelation shocked the sporting world. Fans were aghast that their hero could sink so low so as to take drugs. I, on the other hand was not at all shocked, especially by Maradonna. Indeed, I would have more shocked to discover that he wasn’t a cokehead then to discover that he was. C’mon people the signs were there all along, including an unsavoury affiliation with the mafia. Anyhow, I was not shocked and I’ll tell you why:
Young men earning big coin taking the odd eecky or a bit of Charlie does not surprise me in the slightest. One just has to live in London for three weeks to discover that fact. Actually, young men who don’t earn big coin are also spending their weekends frantically alternating between frenzied bursts of energy and massaging each other’s shoulders. I have no doubt that had I been a professional footballer, earning the kind of money that they do, I would have also probably spent my off-season snorting Columbia’s finest of a hookers tits. Sheesh, I was a poor student and I still managed to be on first name basis with the bouncer at the local strip club, imagine what it would have been like if I had had thirty grand in my pocket. Imagine…
Anyhow, those days are over and I not condoning drugs, they’re bad news, but I am trying to point out that drugs are societies problem. Those those are quick to condemn players as poor role models are likely to have a friend/colleague/family member who uses drugs. Those former players who are quick to say, “it didn’t happen in my day” are probably the same players who engaged in alcoholic benders during their own playing days. Perhaps we need to move beyond focusing on what footy players are doing on a Saturday night after the game and focus on what society is doing on a Saturday night. Solve that problem and you solve the problem of drugs in sport.
Imagine..
Union Vs League: Would the Leagies just shut up already?
I’d like to see the memo that obviously circulated around the office of the Courier Mail, stating that the publication was planning to launch a calculated attack on Rugby Union in an attempt to turn it into Rugby League.
Mike Colemen, Andrew Slack and others (Jim Tucker excepted) have all had their say regarding how boring and stale Rugby has become and that the finalists of the RWC are in essence ruining the game.
I accept that there needs to be some rule changes to allow more space on the field but to describe the RWC, and in particular the final as dour, is to forget the basic principle of Rugby, that it is above all a contest for the ball. It is the number one point of difference between Union and League and is the number one reason why the Wallabies were home so early. England won the contest for the ball and ultimately the game. All the backline talent in the world, including a slow and ponderous Lote Tiquri, will count for nothing if your forwards are being out muscled at the contest and it is these contests that make Rugby the game that it is. The move in Australia to remove the scrum from the game is gaining momentum with mothers and wingers everywhere but the day it turns into the insult to the intelligence that is a Rugby League ‘scrum’ (the forwards might as well play paddy-cakes) is the day that will see the death of Union.
Perhaps Queensland’s penchant for all things Rugby League has clouded the judgement of many. There can be no doubt that the NRL and Origin are fantastic competitions but for many non-league fans the predictable run-from-dummy-half and fifth tackle kick (circa Broncos 2007) are every bit as frustrating as a scrum being repacked or a infringement at the breakdown. Need I point out also that next years Rugby League World Cup is shaping up to be a Kangaroo whitewash. Indeed while the interpretation of rules needs to be tightened, it should be noted that League has many infuriating rules of its own including the ludicrous strip rule and many different bizarre rulings on obstruction. Furthermore, by having two less players on the field and a system of laws designed to favour the ball carrier, as opposed to a contest, there is bound to be more tries in the thirteen-man game.
I for one am getting tired of having to defend Union from one eyed League fans and those that obviously have little or no understanding of the game (see Mike Coleman). I don’t understand the nuances of AFL but that does not mean that I do not appreciate the skill and athleticism involved. To me, a Full-Forward taking a mark is every bit as entertaining as Bakkies Botha hitting a ruck or even a Billy Slater try. If, the Courier Mail staff are so unhappy with Rugby Union then I say don’t watch it. If the majority of Australians find it dull then stop playing it. It would be sad not to have the Wallabies but I’m sure that South Africa, England, New Zealand, France, Argentina etc will carry on enjoying the game regardless. Australia then could go on enjoying thrashing their opponents at League in front of six thousand bored and indifferent fans.
Out of Tune
It is over for another four year, the Rugby World Cup that is. For the next four years the Springboks can call themselves World Champions. And deservedly so I believe, despite what Ben Darwin (crap prop) and Ben Tune might have us believe on Channel 10 (Aus).
The Boks won because they were experienced and had the best balance of all the teams in the quarters. Think about it, the Wallabies had a origami like scrum, the All-Blacks a dodgy lineout, the Poms could complete a backline move against a fresh air fifteen, the Frogs and Argies lacked composure and eventually Fuji's fitness was going to be telling.
South Africa on the hand had a commendable scrum, a capable backline and a peerless lineout. Furthermore, they had composure and experience when it matters the most.
As I said, deserved winners.
However, as an Australian resident I have an idea about why the Wallabies sucked. I'll tell you why they went home early and in tears and the answer is New Zealand.
I have noticed that in Australia there are only two teams who play Rugby: Australia and New Zealand. During the quarter final loss to England I felt that the Wallabies were really just warming up for an expected Semi against NZ. All the talk in the press was the anticipated Trans-Tasman clash. It reeks of conceit, and is a deep rooted problem in Aussie Rugby. It is a psychological thing in Australia; they believe that as long as they can beat NZ then nothing else matters. Just look at the Medias reaction when NZ lost to France. "At least we didn't choke" screamed on headline. Well, unfortunately you did. You choked on your own arrogance and took your opponents far too lightly.
This leads me to Mr Tune and Mr Darwin. Both seem regard today's World Cup finalists as inferior to the Wallabies. Indeed, Tune hinted that the only reason that SA were in the final was a lucky draw. I concede that SA probably had a slightly easier draw but they also had to beat England twice. Something no other team managed once, including the Wallabies.
Anyhow, well done Bokke, you made my cry today. Thank you.
The Boks won because they were experienced and had the best balance of all the teams in the quarters. Think about it, the Wallabies had a origami like scrum, the All-Blacks a dodgy lineout, the Poms could complete a backline move against a fresh air fifteen, the Frogs and Argies lacked composure and eventually Fuji's fitness was going to be telling.
South Africa on the hand had a commendable scrum, a capable backline and a peerless lineout. Furthermore, they had composure and experience when it matters the most.
As I said, deserved winners.
However, as an Australian resident I have an idea about why the Wallabies sucked. I'll tell you why they went home early and in tears and the answer is New Zealand.
I have noticed that in Australia there are only two teams who play Rugby: Australia and New Zealand. During the quarter final loss to England I felt that the Wallabies were really just warming up for an expected Semi against NZ. All the talk in the press was the anticipated Trans-Tasman clash. It reeks of conceit, and is a deep rooted problem in Aussie Rugby. It is a psychological thing in Australia; they believe that as long as they can beat NZ then nothing else matters. Just look at the Medias reaction when NZ lost to France. "At least we didn't choke" screamed on headline. Well, unfortunately you did. You choked on your own arrogance and took your opponents far too lightly.
This leads me to Mr Tune and Mr Darwin. Both seem regard today's World Cup finalists as inferior to the Wallabies. Indeed, Tune hinted that the only reason that SA were in the final was a lucky draw. I concede that SA probably had a slightly easier draw but they also had to beat England twice. Something no other team managed once, including the Wallabies.
Anyhow, well done Bokke, you made my cry today. Thank you.
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